Hatred. Hidden. Read online

Fear, terror, and an instantaneous urge to remove oneself from an object or situation will usually define a phobia. Homophobia doesn’t fall under the normal restraints that define phobias, and homophobia isn’t necessarily a fear per se, but the uncomfortable emotion same sex activity causes certain people is very much the same thing.

  The actual phobia itself is not just a mental anguish, but also one that is flamed, and in some instances, created by the cultural and sociological world. Background, upbringing, geographical location, all play a part in nurturing the obsession, and it is just as current today as it was ten years ago. I imagine it to be like an awful fashion trend that comes around every decade. Society seems to go through a period of peace with it, but then something will happen and the fear comes right back. It is my opinion that Mark’s actions will undoubtedly lead to similar cases happening around the country.

  Mark was perfect, so out of character and it’s just not like him at all: all testimonials from friends and family. I’m afraid this is natural and fits in with homophobia cases well. Mark could easily have hidden his hate, especially if friends and family were entirely heterosexual. His acting out came in secret, until it consumed him so much he acted out in the case which led to his arrest.

  Homophobia isn’t an illness, contrary to some other leading psychiatric reports, and therefore cannot be cured. So curing his problem wasn’t the issue here, but instead, the education of individuality was paramount for Mark’s rehabilitation. Stereotypical, generalised stigmas needed challenging in Mark’s case.

  By using video footage and images, I was able to witness the levels of anger and awkwardness someone’s sexuality caused within Mark. Mark preferred to close his eyes, ignore my questioning, and not pay any attention to me whatsoever. I tried to educate him on genetic reasoning: that sexuality wasn’t a chosen lifestyle. By killing a young man, Mark had eradicated an evil from the world, he had said.

  Material provided from the archives proved ineffectual too. An interview played to Mark where a man described the mental torture of being homosexual only caused revulsion in Mark. The interviewee went on to admit that if given a choice, he would certainly have chosen to be heterosexual.

  Religion didn’t seem to play a role in his phobia. I’ve delved deep into Mark’s life, probing for information and he seems to find religion a joke, in my opinion.

  It isn’t for me to judge Mark on his crimes, or enforce my personal opinion on him, but merely ask questions to better understand his motives. A serious crime has been committed, but prison life is not helping my understanding of Mark. He’s shutting down, withdrawing within himself. He’s admitted prison life is like living in medieval times with wardens intimidating inmates with bars and doors. I suspect something is happening to him within his cell, but he will not share it with me. I’ve given him ample opportunity. It is my educated guess that he himself is being sexually abused in some way; a cruel twist of fate it seems.

  I also wasn’t surprised to note that the phobia only manifested itself with male homosexuality. Sexual acts between women didn’t result in the same hatred. Lesbianism was a viewing pleasure for Mark. It is often the case in male patients. Hypocritical brain processes lead me to believe that it certainly is a cultural reasoning behind the homophobia. It is so rooted in him I do not feel I’ve made much progress with rehabilitation and it is my medical opinion that he will never change his mind. Placing him among open homosexuals will only result in potential harm to the gay people involved.

  If released from prison after his sentence, I feel he will act out again, possibly even in secret to satiate his need to ‘do the right thing’. His 1950’s view of the world makes him a danger to many who oppose him. I feel Mark is a prime example of his generation. Education is needed in schools, informing pupils of differences early on, halting any niggling phobias before they become a much bigger problem down the line. Perhaps one day, just how racism has started to be overturned in this country, then so will this issue.

  Mark was not the perfect man who lost it all as the media have reported the case. He is clever and sophisticated, and could very much resemble the man next door, a neighbour two floors up, or the man in the queue at the bank. Homophobia is very much hidden unless acted out in public among witnesses.

  Author’s Note

  To some, Mark’s acting out and his violent conduct may seem like I support or encourage such behaviour against not just the LGBT community, but other human beings in general. That is not true. I abhor violence. As an earlier quote I cannot find the author of says: ‘If people cared more about men holding guns than men holding hands the world would be a better place’ – well, that is a statement I do fully support.

  Even though Mark doesn’t wield a gun, I wouldn’t put it past him to use one if one popped up on the street next to him.

  Homophobia is rife the world over and instead of telling a story from a victim’s point of view, where readers would feel sorry for such a person, I wanted to recount a story from the attacker’s mind set, to attempt to scare, make readers feel uncomfortable, to get them to question their own beliefs.

  I hope you enjoyed my short story. A short, unbiased review on the website you bought it from would mean the world to me. I would hug you for doing so, but you might then catch my cold, which wouldn’t be fair. I would also love you to sign up to my newsletter too.

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  About the Author

  Dan is an author of nonsense, mostly. Some like it though, which is good enough for him. Yarns include Here Lies Love, The Caseworker's Memoirs, and The Black Petal.

  Dan lives in Gainsborough, Lincolnshire (England) with his young daughter. Gainsborough is a small town, not too big, and not too small, which is exactly how he likes it. Plus, Lincoln isn’t too far away – a city worth visiting for the cathedral alone.

  Dan grew up reading Enid Blyton's The Famous Five series, secretly coming up with his own inventive adventures, and R.L Stine's The Goosebump series, before turning to the works of Philip Pullman, Eoin Colfer and Marcus Sedgwick and slipping away into alternate realities. Northern Lights is his favourite book and rereads it every year for inspiration.

  Deborah Harkness and Danielle Trussoni are some of his favourite authors who write for adults. Fantasy, mythology, and magic are all elements that make a fantastic book, in Dan’s eyes.

  Sharon Sant and Jack Croxall are some of his favourite authors who write for teenagers. Young adult books never go out of fashion and are often shunned by some readers. The YA genre is a particular favourite for Dan. Escapism and pure enjoyment is something the YA market captures in its purest form.

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  Acknowledgements

  I have many people to thank. Without their support and belief in me, I would probably have been lost years ago.

  To my daughter, who gives me unconditional love, smiles, and headaches. To Charlotte for sticking around and being supportive no matter what troubles I throw her way. An ear, a coffee, and a good, honest telling off usually solves the issue. Alan for being the root that keeps me grounded and safe in a world where I could probably get up to a lot of mischief.

  And of course my writing friends, buddies that spur me on and encourage me to be my best – Sharon, Jaimie, Jack, Sharon A., Elizabeth, Kate. All fantastic writers, far better than me, who all deserve the best luck in the world. Thanks for being there for me to turn to, to vent, to cry, to shout, to celebrate. Jane too, who is one of the kindest souls you’ll ever come across. A fabulous storyteller and great friend.

  To family and fans who buy my books and read my s
illy stories. Your support is without measure and means the world to me. Sue and Richard who make me laugh. Although, I think you go on far too many holidays for my liking and never offer to stow me away in one of your enormous suitcases.

  To the lovely ladies at Gainsborough Library who support me, who run around in the back room and get me my reserved books.

  You May Be Getting Sick and Tired of Authors Begging …

  … pleading, crawling on hands and knees, urging (yes I’m running out of verbs now) for things called reviews. These are short write ups of what you liked about a book. Most reviews tends to be between one line and a full paragraph. Reviews are important. Reviews help books get noticed on online marketplaces where competition for attention is rough.

  If you enjoyed this book and feel kind enough to leave a short review, I would be forever grateful. Wherever you bought this book from will have a review button next to the book or roundabouts. Please do consider it.

  Thank you.